Monday, February 9, 2015


 The question that has been racing through my head is why did I take this class? The answer is simple and straightforward on the surface, but like an iceberg, it is much deeper than I even know at this point. Despite growing up in public housing the question of race and identity was not one I struggled with. I grew up in a mostly African American and Hispanic neighborhood and did not know that to many I seemed different and that my friends seemed different. I did not know about income inequality, unequal educational inequality, globalization, the destruction of manufacturing jobs, redlining, race riots, and all the other major events that helped create the disparity that existed right in my own city of Elizabeth NJ. Yes, a part of me knew that just down the street there existed a different reality from the one I was experiencing, but I did not internalize none of this. Instead, I was just an average bilingual kid who was always happy.

I can still vividly remember the day I had my first internalization of racial differences. I was in the library checking out a book about Greek civilization and my Godmother asked me why I was checking out that book. I stated that it looked really interesting, and then she proceeded to ask why I didn't study ancient native Caribbean civilizations or something more of "my" people. I reacted with shock and horror. I stated that ALL civilizations were of my people. I didn't understand why they were not my people just because their skin tone was lighter than me. She told me that "they" would never accept me. While today I, more or less, understand what my Godmother was trying to do and express, it still does not take away from the sense of rejection I felt when she stated those words that I would never belong. It would be many years before I experienced discrimination and racism that brought me back to that memory. Was my Godmother right? Not completely, but I would be a liar to say that I do not question my ability to belong because of superficial reasons that should not matter. While today I can stand proudly as a minority man, there were times where I wished I was more of the norm and wished for the average childhood depicted in shows like The Wonder Years. Those shows painted a picture that was so different of my own reality and for a long time all I wanted was to have that reality.

I took this class not only to learn about the power of language in race and ethnicity, but in reality I took this class in order to discover about my place and my identity. I feel as if my experiences growing up give a human portrait to the issues of identity and race. This portrait is what is currently inspiring me to think of an individual project that involves interviewing various people from my old neighborhood and gauging how they have actually dealt with issues of race, language, and identity. Having a theoretical framework is always useful, but I want to discover how the issues of race, language, and identity play out in every day life. In the classroom we are currently in contains over 20 human beings that have had their own personal journeys in which they have dealt with or not death with issues of race and identity. Perhaps by I interviewing them I would discover not only about their identities but about my very own identity as well. This individual project could then evolve into self portraits about ourselves that we can put together to present to the world......Why did I take this class? I took this class in order to discover more my own story and the stories of others. In short, I took this class in order to get a closer look at the human condition.

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